Abode of the Selfless Narcissist

Sammy: sometimes i get the feeling you're laughing at me, not with me
Javad: were you laughing just now?
Sammy: no... that's why i got the feeling!

Hsuen: ecstasy comes from detergent

Mela: okay, i have to say, and i'm not being biased - my friends have very good taste... and so do i

Amir: no, my tits are getting HUGE!

Javad: hey matt, i thought you quit smoking??
Matt: i feel fucking hot man, i don't know what to do!

David: ew, i got chrysanthemum juice on my speedos!

Yurii: we don't play fair... we play to win

Gill: i don't need lube

David: i'm afraid i might spontaneously combust
Javad: then we'll step on a glass and say 3 mazel tov's for you
David: what, you want me to marry apit is it?
Amir: what am i then, chopped liver?

Dex: my time ah bengs, even if they squat, they still queue!

So um... I got a job! Yessir, starting in June, I will be gainfully employed - in-house photographer for Viscion Media. A pretty good start, I must say, and a quick one. Let's hope product doesn't consume my life and I get some kick-ass editorial spreads soon. Of course, that leaves me with much less free time to complete the proposed redecoration of my room... guess I'd better step on it.

Feels like I'm pretty much adjusted and acclimatized to being home already, things are going smoothly, and I'm getting comfortable without getting stagnant, which had been somewhat of a worry. Hopefully I won't lose momentum and will be able to keep on keepin' on.

Friday night was a real drunken stupor... haven't been that drunk in years, if ever. First off, I disappeared for about 45 minutes when we were about to leave Zouk, and no one, including myself, knows what happened during that time. It will forever remain a mystery. Next I passed out on a table at Newton, and then the floor as Mela, Bush, and Wen attempted to carry me out. After 20 minutes of unsuccessful attempts and multiple slaps and random beating (my right nipple area is still bruised... thanks Bush), 2 strangers assisted in getting me into a taxi. Upon getting me to my house, my keys apparently didn't work, and Bush called my sister as I slept on the garage floor. My sister, being out at poker night, was unable to assist, so the maids were awakened. They saw me on the garage floor and thought I was dead. After being carried to my room, I threw up on the only non-Persian carpet in the house (Kashmiri) which someone (my dad) had decided would fit nicely in my bedroom, and then proceeded to wallow in it. After this whole fiasco, I spent Saturday night at home. My carpet went out the window a few days later.

So the results of FHM Online's 100 Sexiest Women in the World poll have been announced, with Megan Fox at number 1. But more importantly, at number 2 is Jessica Biel, who beats out Jessica Alba at number 3. Finally, vindication! Jessica Biel is recognized as being hotter than Jessica Alba! Take that all you naysayers! ... I hate Justin Timberlake....

In other news, champagne allegedly helps to protect your brain against damage incurred during a stroke or from Alzheimer's or Parkinson's... the antioxidant nature of polyphenols, which champagne is high in, is thought to be responsible for this. Take note all you old people, your new prescription may be for Moët & Chandon.

Gizmodo reports on a new way to control your computer - the penis interface. What will they think of next?

K folks, off to bed. Gotta start getting earlier starts to my day, or I'll never get all my ish done before I start work.

Currently Listening To: Schoolyard Heroes - Blood-Spattered Sundress